No one love being lost.. but am not only lost but I feel a failure (again). No matter how perfect our plan was if it meant to be and it wont happened. Well this is the story about how I try to accept the failure and to calm down the inner impostor.
Heheheh not being extra but just being honest what I felt. Kinda overwhelmed with the sadness and overthink about what people will thought but I try to stay inline and focusing myself. But I always believe that whatever happened yesterday it's actually already the fate that I have to accept.
The drama looking for water was continue since the route is rolling and hilly I really-really felt nausea during the downhill all I could do was looking down and try to slowly take a breath. My head was hitting a branch quite hard because I always look down, wasnt aware about the branch and my head was in pain. I try to keep on moving and ensure that everything was alright. I brought 3 soft flask but all water already run out. On the peak of Gawalise with 30% something degree climb I saw a tree covered up with plastic and there is a hole on it. I saw a glimpse of fresh water from rain. I took a handful of water from my hand and it felt so much a boost for a moment. Since after the peak the course was downhill and since I had water for a little I can run again. But it only last for a moment.
I was said "Ya Allah aku butuh air... WS kamu dimana?" I checked my watch it was on my 16K so the extra WS will be at 2K more. after an hour I saw the tent and feel some excitement, finally I can survive. But on WS Bayangan we only got one bottle. And the next water station or WS 2 is on 24K. It sound near but with the humidity and technical route it felt like a hell. Met a super steep downhill also a technical one make it not getting easier. I already spent 5 hours before going down and was targeting to finish before 9 hours and I felt to completed 25K more seemed super hard. I slightly panic and anxious try to catch my time on downhill but was the craziest downhill ever. Dont forget about the sun and humidity it double the torture.
After a long technical downhill I met the marshall and said the WS 2 it's only 500 meter left. And I felt it's the longest 500m in my life EVER!! I was cursing why the WS so far away in this kind of temperature. When I arrived at WS 2, kilometer 24, I refilled the water (sadly only water, no isotonic or coke) and ate small banana.. the banana itself actually not a proper one. A different variety and will make you feel more depleted. I knew this info but I ate it anyway. The team iced me and it was the best feeling ever during the scorching heat weather. Suddenly I miss home, I never miss home whenever I'm away from home.
I thought it will be over but I felt bladder all the time. In total almost having pee like 4-5 times. You can imagine how smelly I was ;))... Also I saw some scary experience.. During my jog I heard a dog crying, when I looked to the left I saw a dog with a man with machete going up and about to slaughter the dog. I cant handle the dog's cry so I ran away and crying... It might be they believe that it was fine to ate dog meat but I just cant handle it. I dont understand why so many tears during this race ya.. ahaahahha.
On 30K I was super dying... I feel ashamed that the failure is about to come. I checked the watch, I already ran for 8 hours and I started to cry. Why I so slow... what's wrong with me? My head full of doubt and the infection of urinate started to appear again. I try to collected myself piece by piece.. but I can't.
Use your past
- Remind yourself and your team of previous successes and, most importantly, what preparation led up to them. What can you do to replicate these?
Use your present
- Encourage your teammates to use positive self-talk.
- Learn from others who have bounced back from failure well, such as these inspiring athletes.
Use the future
- Visualise yourself and your team being successful.
- Ask your team: “What will we do differently next time?” This helps shift the focus onto the positives and away from what you can’t change.
TURN FAILURE INTO SUCCESS
Mistakes are necessary if you want to learn and get better. Shifting your team’s focus towards mastering skills instead of just rewarding them for the outcome help underline this. Praise your team for developing and improving to encourage them to get right back to work when things don’t go their way.
Do you work with youth athletes? A recent study found that children are very good at judging how adults around them (parents or coaches) perceive failure. You need to understand and show that mistakes are important learning opportunities to inspire athletes.
REDUCE FEAR OF FAILURE
Often, it’s not the failure itself that athletes fear. It’s the perceived negative consequences of that failure that stresses them out. Psychologists have identified two strategies to help reduce the fear of failure in your team:
Embrace the uncertainty
Sometimes, athletes think that a win means that everything is good, and a defeat means that it’s all doom and gloom. That can lead to stress, anxiety and ‘safer’ play, when in fact sport can be very unpredictable. Encourage your team to judge themselves on their attitude and effort as these are the behaviours that you want to see again.
Question fears
Following bad matches, teams can start to think emotionally, meaning they’ll tend to think about worst case scenarios as well as catastrophising small setbacks. A nice way to challenge this with your team is to ask whether what they are thinking is fact or feeling. This will help people to start thinking more rationally.
TEAMWORK MAKES THE DREAM WORK
A recent study suggested that social support is key to bouncing back from setbacks as it helps reduce people’s vulnerability to stressful situations. This is the case for anyone, whether their performance is consistently good, consistently poor, or anything in between.
Encourage athletes to seek support from within the team itself but also outside: friends, family, professionals… This can help teams bounce back from failure by:
- Enhancing the team’s effort
- Helping them deal with stressful situations
- Providing motivation
To find out more about how important building good teams are, check our guide here.
FOSTER RESILIENCE
When interviewed, many Olympic athletes say that resilience is a key factor in their path to success. Good ways for teams to become more resilient include taking responsibility or viewing decisions as active choices, as well as having an overarching focus on learning and development. Here are 9 ways that Olympic champions develop their resilience.
Interestingly, a recent study suggested that young athletes should not be shielded from facing adversity. Instead, these experiences can help them to develop personally. However, the caveat is that coaches should find a balance and not use too much ‘tough love’ as this can weaken the athlete’s mentality.
OFFER BETTER FEEDBACK
In sport, the reality is that setbacks are inevitable at some point in your career. However, athletes can avoid making the same mistakes again by using quality feedback. Be careful, though: feedback can be a double-edged sword. Done right, it can be one of the most effective ways to learn – done wrong, it can hinder learning hugely.
There are many ways to give better feedback. One of our favourites? Try to view it as feedforward instead, by putting an emphasis on what do next and how to get better, offering suggestions on strategies and pointing out behaviours that you want to see again. A great way to start this conversation is by asking the team for their opinions on what should be done differently.
Bouncing back from setbacks and failure is vitally important for any team in any sport. Just look at any of your sporting icons and their view on failure, and they will tell you that it’s just another opportunity to learn or get motivated. This is achievable by athletes at all levels – just follow these easy 6 tips to help your team bounce back from defeat and thrive again.
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