No one love being lost.. but am not only lost but I feel a failure (again). No matter how perfect our plan was if it meant to be and it wont happened. Well this is the story about how I try to accept the failure and to calm down the inner impostor.
Heheheh not being extra but just being honest what I felt. Kinda overwhelmed with the sadness and overthink about what people will thought but I try to stay inline and focusing myself. But I always believe that whatever happened yesterday it's actually already the fate that I have to accept.
So I just DNF (Did Not Finish) on National Championship for trail running. Despite I was feel so good on first kilometer and quite confident about the run and my training. I was missed calculating the humidity and heat. It's totally the major factor in this race. I never a big fond of heat so at the first climb I am totally full of sweat. Try to consistent with the fueling every 45-50 minutes to have my gel and drink. I felt so thirsty during the climb. It was soo humid like the most humid run that I ever had.
I passed the first water station and refill the isotonic. few moments later catch some runners on the climb and get the vertical speed back. but the humidity getting higher and I try to sip more water on my flask. I also bring my coke since usually I got the sugar rush after sipped it. Those things helped me alot. But never thought that my water will run out so quick (it never happened in any race before). I saw there is a box with bottle water and empty bottles everywhere. Seemed the committee put there for addition water for runners but only a box and none on it. It become bottle plastic trash everywhere (hopefully they will clean it after all). And after I saw it suddenly I really-really need water. I scanned the empty bottle to check out if the runners left some. And sadly every bottle was empty. But what more sad was they feel OK to left the bottle inside the jungle. Oh in contrary there is a rule that we are not allow to received help from outside but OK to threw bottle / littering.
