How A Year Can Change Everything

15 days to the end of the year. End of 2015.

When I was young I always excited about making new resolution(s) for new year. But now.. I even not interested. Have no idea whats the goal for next year what to reach next year. 

Recap for this year so far started life with super awful feeling! I felt like a crap. Knocked down and feel powerless. How a super broken heart can destroy your dream. Stupidly made myself being hurted again and again. Felt sooo let down. I tho this year will be an awful one. 

But I fought that. Have you ever heard "fake it till you make it" ? That is exactly what I did. Faking the smile. Fight the pain inside of my heart. 

Until I make and foun my own happiness again. By a simple one and an easy way to be happy again. 

Until I really dont care what life had done to me. It just piece of shit of life that I need to face. 

So what will I do for next year?

I might have plans to do but it just because it already preparing that from this year. 

Like running and hockey. 

But for career, life, and love. I think I wont plan anything special or go for something great or else. 

Lets play an easy and simple game of life. Because at the end nothing to worry about. 

What goes around comes around.

Oh actually I have a promise that I will do this year but I feel not ready yet. Hopefully will do that next year. *collecting my guts *gleg

Xxx

Ello

Running Essentials

When I was young this sentence is often written in any media. "Running is the cheapest sport". Well yeah it's true. Basically. To run you just need your sport clothes and a pair of shoes.

But when you start to in to running those ain't enough. For the shoes you need to know what shoes is suits in you. Mostly people go for brand without knowing what foot type they are. Wrong shoes will lead you to injury. The most expensive shoes not always the best shoes for you. 

After you got your shoes what you wear during run also matter. Long time ago cotton was believed become the most perfect to wear in sport. Because it absorbs your sweat. But recent research said avoid cotton. Because cotton absorb your sweat it will make your clothes wet. Doing sport in wet clothes ain't recommended. Will affect your health later.

Then you finished with shoes and the clothes you are ready to run. But the more you into this sport the more running essentials that you needed. Moreover if you take this hobby into something serious but also something fun.

When you preparing for a marathon sometime you follow some running program or training. And it's good. Because to run a marathon it took a lot of thing to prepare. You better in good shape, good nutrition and good mental for it. You should have a goal. Better in time. Say you want to finish your marathon in 4 hour 10 minutes or 5 hours. Write it down and be commit of it. I'm not agree with goal "Finish Strong" but actually they are in pain when they finished the marathon. And most of them are never take marathon training seriously.

42.2 km is not a half marathon times two. It's totally different!

During in training the more you do it the more tools that you need. Even for the prevention or for recovery shake.

Along my experience here my some running tools that help me to ready in running:

1. Vaselin Petroleum Jelly

Apply this at the edge of sport bra or the hip or at the area that often gave you "scar" or chaffing during the run (mostly appear in long run).

2. Sun Block

Living in tropical country morning sun sometime can be your best friend or enemy. Too long getting under the sun will make your skin burned. I always go to my banana boat sun block and artistry for my face sun screen.

Both are my fave because they arent greasy in my skin.

3. Running Watch + Heart Rate

I use Garmin FR 220 with heart rate. Running with heart rate will let you know whether your exercise effective or not. Understanding the heart zone will help you if you run in the right zone or not to give maximum effort.

4. Hydration Bottle

This stuff will help you in long run training. The small pocket at this bottle perfect for my gu gel. So while training the hydration also fueling. Most of runners use hydration belt or bag with bladder. But I dont like the bumpy sensation on my hip.

4. Electrolite Tabs

Everyone has different taste. While me love this electrolite tabs. If I dont bring my bottle usually I bougt mineral water and put this electrolite tabs in to it. The black one consist of caffeine. So it will boost up your run.

5. Foam Roller

After a hard training or an effort long run.. Nothing will understand you except this sweet little pipe. Have it and you will love it. Roll up your legs and back after the run and your body is ready to hit the road again.

6. Blue Ice

Mostly I use this if I got bruise from hockey. But when in running usually if I feel something not right in my knee or my shin. So this stuff always in my refrigerator and ready to use whenever I need it.

Well those are my running essentials. What's yours?

xxx

Ello

Long Term Goal

Nah this post wont tell ya about my long term goals and how I supposed to reach it.

One thing that I want to tell you is... I do not have believe in any long term-ish what ever. Long term goal, long distance relation, long term relationship. Bla bla bla.

Where am I in next 5, 7, 8, 10 years later? I mean seriously... Even my plans right now already ruined and you fricking asked me about that?

I even cant dream about my future will be. I even afraid with my future to be honest. 

I dont believe in long term plan. No more. 

And I probably hate it.

When I am planning my future... The failed one keep monstering me all the time. So I quit. I quit being a smart ass.

I just want to live now. I dont believe with my future lately. I lost my confidence about my future but I covered it well. Because humab looove to hearing a good bluffing.

Dont you worry bout it. Well none care actually Ell ;)

Dopest Month So Far: August 2015

Having a rough experience on the early year and almost decided it will be a suckest year ever.

But on last August.. I did enjoy every single time of it. :)

First.

Badass mountain I ever climb. Rinjani

And what makes it more fun.. Climbed it your mega best friends in the world. 

Second.

Got prize for a race! Yaayyy..

I was rank 10th for 10K race just a week before my marathon. Hahaha sick!

Rank 10

Third.

Finished my 2nd marathon faster than my target!

Dope medal huh?

That was my top 3 moment in 2015 so far. Yaaayyy :D

And I feel life much getting better lately. I hope I wont forget how grateful I am lately. Thank you Allah for EVERYTHING!! Ok I must stop before I start crying :p

Xxx

Ello

It Paid Off Man!

Ok.. Ive just finished cleaning my closet for almost 2 hours. And glad that I decided throw all my "rare to wear" clothes. Aftet that I have no mood for buying new clothes again. 

Alsooo.. I have a loooott off jersey from hockey and a loooott off running clothes from some race. And now I have two boxes. One for hockey and one for running. Pheewww. 

Well back to two weeks ago at the end of  August I just finished my official marathon. Proudly said that I am marathon finisher with sub 4:30 time. I finished my 2nd Bali Marathon in 4 hours 23 minutes 37 seconds. Heheh.. Compare to my 1st marathon I was finished at 5 hours 7 minutes ish. 

For this marathon I took some coaching from my previous running coach from runiversity by indo runners. His name is Budi. He mentoring me during the training and always pushing me to give more along the program. 

Every week I ran interval twice at night and long run in every Sunday morning. But sometime I still keep practice hockey to keep tune up with the hockey skill. 

The training was super exhausted. I knew the marathon training wasnt easy, it need a commitment. And from the earlier I already set to finished the marathon at 4:30 minutes. From the beginning not pretty sure. But my 10k keep showing improvement. So it boost my confidence a little. 

On the race day I tried to prepare everything. Fueling and hydration and everything. Counting the split time so I can manage my energy. At the first 20km everything was on target. Well actually I managed to run at pace 5:40-5:58. Nailed the first hill. But after the 2nd hill at   28-30km ish my legs feel sore. Feel something wrong on my left foot. The sock not on the right place. Also the cramp hitted my knee. But when I found nearest water station and got iced at my right knee it much much better. But the pace started slow down. Luckily still on my target. Deep inside my heart I wish that I could finish 4:15:00 but my cramp was on again :|.

But finished faster than my target was really shocked me. I was about to cry since I can believe that I made it. The sacrifice, sweat, tears and everything already paid off when I entered the finish line. You maybe never understand the joy of it but I wont stop after this. 

The time probably not as good as the athletic athlete. Well once again as an avid runner who just took a deep consideration in running this finished time showed everything. And I can do more better than this if I want and determined.

Funny thing was when my mom asked me about the race. She asked "did I win?" And I said "no..." She cheered me and said "it is ok.. Keep the spirit on" sooo that's mean an approval for still  running? :D

Xxx

Ello

Mom Look! They Called My Name

My parents are my biggest thorn in my sports activity. They never agree if I play too much hockey. They disagree if I lost my weight because of sport. They also against me if I run too often. 

"Oh Ello... You are so skinny.. Look at your bones." 

"Ello.. Why you eat so little? What do you want to eat? Did you eat at office?"

And many more...

My mother is always concern about my activity. Everytime she look at my body her eyes was... As if saw me like a skinny kitten that need to be feeding. And keep in you mind. My mother always think that skinny means not eating. While curvy and fat means healthy. 

Well you know I've been there. 68kg. But I still remember she keep telling me that am to SKINNY!! Oh mother hahhahha

So.. A week before Bali Marathon I ran at Capital Market Run. Planned to run at easy pace. Like super easy but somehow my running friends build the competitive soul inside me. But am not run hard. Not too push myself. 

After 5km-ish near SCBD one of the marshall yell to me to keep running because I had chance to make big 10 ( the podium prizes are until top 10). Believed what he said I increased a little bit my pace. And had some sprint race but way to excited.. Run too fast until I want to puke before finish line. Lol.

And when the winner announcement for 10k women, they announced me as the 10th finisher and got prize!! Wohooo.

Super excited. Because I never got any prize in any race :p

 

It's totally my lucky day and feel sooo happy until today. Hihihi

And when I went home then I showed it especially for my mother she also super happy and proud.. Yipppiy

So mom.. Am still allow to stay in running right? ;)

 

Night!

xxx

ello

I keep ask on the same thing to Allah. And I believe the god has answer it. 

Usually with Allah's way. But sometime am too sceptical and wont believe if that's the answer. I need reason. Why have to be like that?

Why the things that I've did not same between God's plan and mine??

So yeah today I see it. I dont want to have many effort to be sceptical but just relieved it. Good things are about to come in my life. And maybe that one aint one.

Chin up El

Xxx

A moment of thought

Bertemu Anjani di Lombok - Part 2

Kalau di post sebelumnya saya cerita tentang perjuangan naik gunung Rinjani. Sekarang cerita tentang pas turunannya. Setujukan kalo setiap ada tanjakan pasti ada turunannya. Semakin ekstrim tanjakannya maka turunannya pun akan semakin dahsyat (asiknya).

Saya sendiri paling suka banget kalau namanya downhill. Setiap lari ngetrail kalau ketemu sama down hill udah pasti ugal-ugalan. Ngebut ga pake rem. Let the gravitation lead you. And feel free.

So.. Pas turunan dari Puncak Rinjani yang medannya berpasir dan berbatu krikil jadi hal yang seru banget. Tinggal srodotan dan ngumpulin nyali karena lumayan serem kanan - kiri itu jurang. Set.. set.. set.. ah seru dehh. Tapi mesti hati-hati juga sih karena bisa jadi tiba-tiba di depan kita ada batu gede atau akar pohon.

Kalau nanjaknya bisa sampe 6 jam turunnya pun cuman 1 setengah jam! Ini pun karena ga pake tunggu-tungguan sih. Karena udah panas banget dan lupa ga pake sun block sedangkan matahari udah terik banget. Turun dari puncak jam 10 pagi dan sampe tenda jam setengah 12 siang.

Rencana awal setelah dari turun puncak kita semua mau pergi ke hot spring di Segara Anak. Tapi ada beberapa teman saya yang cedera dan jalannya pun udah payah. Hahaaha. Ya sudah daripada dipaksa malah sampai ke Segara Anaknya malam dan malah ga bisa menikmati Segara Anak dan hot spring nya akhirnya kita stay di Plawangan lagi semalam. 

Dont you wish wake up everyday with view was like this?

morning tea

Thanks for having me Anjani ;)

Segara Anak, next time saya ke tempat kamu ya... :D

Tipikal rute pendakian Rinjani sendiri biasanya Sembalun - Plawangan - Summit - Segara Anak - Senaru. Tapi karena ada yang cedera akhirnya kita memutuskan untuk turun di Sembalun lagi dan begitu sampai Sembalun kita ke Senaru dengan mobil pick up.

Melewati rute yang sama saat berangkat kemarin tapi sensasinya beda. 

1. Karena turunan

2. Turunan sambil bawa keril

3. Karena turunan ga dibawa lari itu ga seru

Hahahaha. Apakah gw sempet jatuh pas lari-lari di turunan? Of course! Ke sandung akar pohon. Salah injek atau malah kesandung batu. Jatuh nyungsep atau jatuh keprosot saya alamin. Tapi the adrenaline is on hal-hal yang kaya gitu ga bikin gw kapok :D.

Call me weird but run at down hill also one of my endorphin. 

Kita turun dari Plawangan jam 8 pagi dan sampai di titik start penjemputan jam set 1 siang. 

Pokoknya liburan kali ini seru banget deh... Walaupun sempet iri sama orang-orang yang ikutran lari trail MRU dan jadi pengen ikutan race nya taun depan. YOSH!

Liburan sama temen-temen yang seru dan gila bikin trip ini berkesaaaan banget. Full of laugh.. ketawa-ketawa sampe sakit perut. Ga ada yang namanya mati gaya. Entah kenapa ada aja yang bisa dilakuin bareng mereka-mereka ini.

My best travel mate EVER!

Oiya.. di post sebelumnya saya sempet bilang kalau mau pas di puncak nanti mau minta doa karena posisinya berada disalah satu puncak tertinggi di Indonesia. So waktu di puncak Rinjani apakah saya sempet berdoa? O tentu tidaaakk hahahaha. Entah kenapa di liburan ini semua kegalauan dan masalah-masalah yang ada dipikiran saya bener-bener ga ada. It is all about FUN!

And I wish I could stay there forever.

xxx 

Ello

Bertemu Anjani di Lombok - part 1

Dari jaman dahulu gunung selalu menjadi tempat sakral. Semakin tinggi gunung tersebut semakin menjadi tempat yang sangat disucikan. Saya pernah baca disuatu buku bahkan nabi Musa A.S ingin bertemu dengan Allah hingga dicari sampai ke puncak gunung Sinai.

Bahkan saya pernah dengar bahwa kalau kita naik ke puncak gunung maka kita akan semakin dekat dengan tuhan. Dan doa-doa kita pun akan didengar.

So... berhubung lagi galau akut pas diajakin naik ke Rinjani pun saya iyakan. Bulan Maret kemarin saya dan 5 temen saya lainnya sudah memesan tiket ke Lombok untuk keberangkatan 6 Agustus dan pulang 11 Agustus. Dengan rencana cuti 4 hari.

Kamis kemarin pun kita semua berangkat dari terminal 3 Soeta ke Praya, Lombok. Begitu sampai di Lombok kita semua diajak ke Pantai Kuta. Pantai yang pasirnya seperti merica. Bulat-bulat dan seperti makanan ikan kalau kata saya.

Sebenernya dari Pantai Kuta ini kita bisa lanjut untuk wisata ke Desa Sasak. Suku tradisional Lombok yang rumahnya dilapisi kotoran kerbau dan penghasil kain tenun Lombok.

Namun karena tujuan liburan ini adalah Rinjani yang letaknya ada di tengah pulau Lombok dan lokasinya cukup jauh dari Pantai Kuta maka kita semua langsung menuju Sembalun. 

Sebenarnya untuk memulai pendakian ke Rinjani ada 2 rute. Melalui Sembalun atau Senaru. Jika melalui Senaru katanya sih rutenya cukup curam dan viewnya membosankan. Karena jika lewat Senaru kita masuk ke dalam hutan yang cukup subur. Namun akan melewati Segara Anak sebelum berhenti di Plawangan.

Sedangkan rute Sembalun jalurnya sebenernya curam-curam juga sih.. hehhehe. Tapi ada daerah yang cukup landai. Viewnya dirute Sembalun kita bisa melihat puncak Rinjani dan bukit-bukit yang cantik yang mengelilingi Rinjani. Sehingga rute ini merupakan rute favorit beberapa pendaki. Apalagi pendaki abal-abal macam saya yang baru dua kali naik gunung :p.

Esoknya setelah menginap di Pondok Sembalun sekitar jam 8 pagi kita semua berangkat untuk memulai pendakian. Rute yang akan kita lalui adalah Sembalun - Plawangan - Summit Attack (Muncak). Dari sembalun ke Plawangan sendiri ada 4 pos (kalau gak salah) yang bakal kita lewatin. Jarak antar tiap pos sebenernya berdekatan. Tapi karena jalannya mendaki cukup bikin paha pegel. Di pos 2 sendiri merupakan daerah yang cukup lapang. Banyak beberapa pendaki yang istirahat untuk makan disini. Kebetulan juga kita semua sampai di pos 2 jam setengah 12 siang.

Namun karena si pak porter sudah cukup umur, beliau sempat kram kaki. Tapi untungnya ada anaknya yang membantu si bapak porter yang kena kram itu. Sekitar jam setengah 1 kita baru makan siang. Dan lanjut mendaki lagi jam set 2 siang. 

Sampai Pos 3 atau yang dikenal pos penyesalan kita semua istirahat sebentar. Pak Budi, guide kita yang baik hati ini bilang bahwa dari Pos 3 sampai Plawangan akan ada 7 bukit. Dan bukit 1, 3, 5 dan 7 adalah bukit yang paling susah (gleeg). Dan maka dari itu si pos 3 ini disebut pos penyesalan. Karena dari sinilah tantangan pertama ke puncak rinjani dimulai.

Dari bukit 1 sampai bukit ke 7 bener-bener dibikin lemes. Tanjakannya yang luar biasa. Tapi untungnya viewnya cukup bikin mata dan pikiran tenang. Saya sampai duluan di Plawangan sekitar jam 5 sore. 

Sebelum naik ke puncak Rinjani, kita semua menginap semalam di Plawangan. Dan bangun pagi-pagi buta untuk summit attack. Saat tidur pun sebenernya agak gelisah. Karena anginnya cukup kenceng dan bikin jiper (aselik saya gak kuat dingin). Dan sempet terlintas dari mulut saya bahwa saya tidak ingin ke puncak. Terpikir akan melakukan puncak nanti saja saat Trail Race di MRU nanti. Tapi si otak yang waras bilang "bodoh banget kalau cuman karena angin lo nyerah El". Akhirnya si waras yang menang!

Jadilah kita semua berangkat muncak.

Bener-bener naik ke puncak Rinjani itu pake fisik luar biasa banget. Niat bisa kejar sunrise di puncak tapi dalam hati "santai aja El, nikmatin aja pemandangannya". And I did.

Ketika di medan yang paling sulit, kalau kata orang-orang si tanjakan setan yang bentuknya angka 3 kebalik, saya kelaparan. Dan tidak yakin bisa ngalahin si tanjakan setan. Persedian makanan saya habis, teman-teman saya yang jaraknya dekat saya pun tidak bawa makanan ke puncak. Which that totally wrong!.

Saking kelaparannya saya nekat minta makanan ke guide yang sedang duduk dipinggir jalur pendakian. Niatnya hanya minta biskuit yang dia makan. Eh malah dikasih jeruk dan apel. Dan Allahuakbaarr... itu rasanya biskuit, apel dan jeruk yang paling enak yang pernah saya makan! Sungguh!

Dan entah keajaiban apa pula... tiba-tiba teman-teman plus Pak Budi pun semakin mendekat dan kita semua makan makanan ringan disana untuk menambah energi.

Selepas dari itu pun bagaikan hape yang udah full charge saya kembali termotivasi untuk naik ke puncak. Ngalahin si tanjakan setan yang berpasir dan ga abis-abis. Akhirnya sukses sampai puncak jam 9 pagi.

the greatest creation of Allah

the sunrise seeker

Di puncak pun saya teriak-teriak meski gada yang saya kenal.. hahahah. Seneng banget. Seneng luar biasa... Ah rasanya kaya menang kejuaraan deh.

Dan dari puncak itu keliatan si cantik Anjani. Ah Anjani.... terima kasih loh atas tantanannya.

I MADE IT!!

You make me feel alive again.

....... to be continue. (mau latian lari dulu :p ) 

Last Post of Today

Okay okay okay.. I promise this is the last post before I go to sleep.

Have you ever feel soooo wasting your time in a relationship?

You feel sooo mad because actually you could do anything that you want but since you think you love him/her you didn't do that because you dont want to hurt him/her. You didn't want to stay far away.

But shit.. Now the relationship is end and seems going back to catching back your dream seems too late because in my matter age is my boundary (for my family actually). 

Hfffttt. 

But don't everything happen for a reason. And I believe something great is going to happened in my life *finger crossed

Night night night!!!

Ask "How" instead of "Why"

Well hello again... Something still running in my mind. I believe it must be the hormon working. I supposed to be tired after hockey practice. But since the coaches are suck and I feel myself lately nothing developed from my skill or whatsoever. I feel a little bit mad.

Why I not played well, why they didnt do what I did, why nobody doing this, why me, why the hell he did that to me, why he doesn't feel the same,why why why...

So I just realized that double yu ejh way question keep bring me in negative mind. And it wasting my time also exhausting. 

Therefore I am trying to change my mind to ask How instead of Why. How to play good, how to make people do this, how to make your life happy and not care what other think, and so many other how. I think it more positive and the brain received it as a way to more think creatively.

So yeah instead of asking why he didn't ask me to going out better ask how to  spend the weekend more fun. I believe the brain will find a way. Lol :p

Buenos noches amigos! Te amo xxx

Ello

Ps: typing this while listening foo fighter - learn to fly :D

Sunday Morning Run at Bogor Botanical Garden

As a program in my marathon training, every Sunday is time for long run. Last weekend I ran 25km with cry because my coach keep pushing to run at pace 5:40-5:50 per km. And it wasnt my long run pace T_T and after 21km my body totally dropped and refused to run. But againt my coach keep yelling at me. And succesfully almost cry near fX mall (just 500m before finished) lol.

So last Sunday to avoid the boringness in running at Sudirman CFD my training team named Sunday Morning Training team Run (SMTR) went to Bogor Botanical Garden (Kebun Raya Bogor). The SMTR actually consist of the IR Runiversity First Class graduation right now. But the run itself is welcome to everyone who loves to run. 

Run at BBG actually so much fun. All green and fresh. Which is super rare if you run at Jakarta! We ran with Indo Runnners Bogor. They were super welcome and warm. And I already some of them from my last and first crazy run on New Years Eve this year.

For one loop that the IR Bogor made  was about 6.4 km. And I planned to run about 4 loops but only made it for 3 loops :p. The track actually really such a combination of up hill and down hill. Perfect for Bali Marathon training. I really enjoy the track and never feel fatigue at all. 

Totally so much fun and promise to my self will do a long run again there before the Bali Marathon. 

10 things (that not very important) about me

Biar ikut-ikutan kayak blog orang lain saya juga mau ikutan ah..

10 things about me:

1. Nick name gw Ello. Problem is.. kalau email-emailan sama orang yang ga dikenal kadang suka dibalesnya “Terima kasih Bapak Ello”. Terus kalau kenalan sama orang baru pas nyebut nama gw Ello pasti mereka langsung mengasosiasikan dengan penyanyi Ello. Well yeah… You know what next. Paling gampang kalo kenalan sama bule. “My name is Ello, like Hello without ‘H’.” Udah kelaaarrr.
2. I am soooooo outdoor person. I love outdoor activities. Playing with the warm sun. Being active at outside just a natural way for me to unleash my energy. Bahasa lainnya adalah aselinya saya itu petakilan.
3.    .      Kalau liburan lebih suka ke pantai daripada ke gunung. Karena anaknya ga kuat dingin ey. Baru pertama kali naik gunung Oktober tahun lalu. Dan sekaligus ngetrail disana, di gunung Gede, Jawa Barat. Dan rencananya Agustus nanti mau ke Rinjani, Lombok. Which means pertama kalinya nenda di gunung. Dan doakan yah alam baik-baik saja nantinya.
4. Negara yang pengen dikunjungi itu Spanyol. Entah kenapa obsesi banget pengen bisa Bahasa Spanyol dan mau keliling Spanyol. Tapi cari tempat les Bahasa Spanyol agak-agak susah yah.
5. Am a Pisces.. jadi ya gitu deh. Labil. Hahahah.
6. Suka olahraga pake banget. 3 hari gak olahraga kayaknya aneh banget badan dan pasti bakalan hiperaktif. Olahraga yang sekarang lagi dilakuin field hockey sama lari. Field dan indoor hockey mulai kenal waktu kuliah dulu di Bandung. Dan aktif ikut lari semenjak tahun 2013 also finished my first marathon on 2014. Probably I love to challenge myself. 
7. I love amusement park. The more need adrenaline intake to do it.. the more I love it!
8. Pengen banget bisa free dive. Tapi lagi ga ada waktu buat latian. Even mau ngambil license diving pun harus nabung jauh-jauh hari dulu. Pas ada duitnya pas banyak ajakan traveling. Kan rese. Hahaha.
9. Kalau lagi baca suka mendadak lupa lingkungan. Jangan harap inget makan atau lain-lain. Kalau bisa tamatin malam itu pasti akan begadang demi tamat. Terus kalo ceritanya seru pas udah tamat langsung galau. Nyesel kenapa bacanya gak pelan-pelan. (Aneh).
10. Sering nanya pertanyaan random. Dan untungnya punya temen yang ngeladenin pertanyaan random gw ini. Hahaha.

Well jadi itulah beberapa 10 hal yang amat sangat tidak penting tentang diri sayah.. 

Chao

xxx

Ello

Tick Tock - Project Run Away

Tick Tock

8 months already.. 

You said I should move on from you. Maybe because you already found someone else... So it was easy for you to moved on. 

But for me... 4 years to move on.. Totally not easy. I thought it was easy. In fact, is hard to do. Super hard. 

What can you do if you already met someone you think can be trusted and sharing the feeling and idea and every moment and then just because I cant see any reason to motivated you to be a better person, I quited. 

Hoping that after I quit to pushed you or rushing my idea to have a future with you you will find a way to be better.

Yes at the beginning it was easy. Surrounding my self with my best friends and try to faking out to be happy. And always convince my self that I am OK.

But geez... It only held for a few months. After that.. No lies. I missed you. Missed everything that we ever had. But also at the moment I hate you. Because I felt I waste my time with you. And I was thinking that you never ever care with my future. Mean while am here trying to figure out about yours.

Am I the one who selfish here or who? I only need to be understood.

I've got pressure from family since am the first daughter and I totally frustrated about couple of things. And also I already have a master grand plan about my life. But already ruined. Failed. No wonder I kept feeling devastated lately.

I feel I have no point in life lately. It's so hard and hurt and realize that your life plan is failed. And keep failing. 

Sad because age is my boundary here. And the time is ticking. 

Tick tock.. Tick tock..

Tell me what to do to get up........

Project Run Away

I wanna run away. 

Run away from the heart breaking.

Run away from devastation.

Run away from dissapointment.

Run away from the questions.

Run away from the past.

Run away from fake hope.

Run away from my self.

Oh god... Help me.. Am hopeless.

It would be a pleasure and an ease if there is someone out there said to me..

"Everything is gonna be ok El" and with a hug. 

Oh how I need a hug right now. 

Huuffttt.

El

xoxo

Oh my gosh!! Sorry for being ignorant to this blog..

Last update was on March.. geezzz

Many thing happened. A lot!

Promise I will update soon

xxx

Ello

I wonder

It almost like 5 MONTHS!! Am not going to the beach! I told ya many times how I wanna go and play with beach. Swimming in the sea. But this feeling I can't resist anymore T_T

Wait. But first really sorry if this blog become a my diary. Well since am officially single writing is my other way to share my mind and my problem. And also my stress release. You know... Almost all of my best friends already married and busy with their own life I feel like I will disturbing them if I keep telling my boring story, same problems and also feel we already have different life.

Well life goes on!

Super tired lately. With my hockey schedule plus I join the running class with coach from my company, like almost everyday I have physical exercise. 

Tired but happy.

But I dont know sometimes right know I feel like becoming a lazy and boring person. I can't or difficult for me to start a conversation. I prefer to keep in silent and just wait of other to start.

I know that is not me at all. 

In current feeling usually I feel...

Tired

Weird

Tired

Happy

Sleepy

Hungry

Bored

Bored

Happy

Need hug and tell me that everything gonna be ok.

And a kiss wont be mind :p

Nite nite 

Xxx

Oh Runny Nose

One thing that I hate when in rainy season. I often get flu very easily. Since I ride my scooter like almost everyday in this polluted city. 

So this is flu already super annoying.

1st I cant run in Salak Trail Run last week. 

2nd I cant play in maximum effort at this afternoon game. 

This runny nose really upsetting me.

So please get well soon body. I have long way to go for hockey practice and now I just get invited from my office to have running train. 

Need a healthy body soon.

A Worst Birthday Getaway

Well well.. Actually last Saturday I already planned to joined trail run at Mt. Salak. But on Thursday night I felt unwell and turned to be a cold and fever. Even on Friday I was not coming to office to make my self better and ready for the trail run. Or if I cant run I planned just only watch the run and enjoy the view.

But oooh gosh! My head was suuperrr dizzy. My body temperature was rising again. And already pursued my friend also insist him just came to the race by train from Jakarta!

Oh man am really sorry Hardy! I felt so bad that I forgot to tell you that my fever get worst.

I just really wish that race will be my special getaway since last Thursday isy birthday so I just want to have fun on that trail race. 

But plan is only a plan. Pffftt.

On Saturday afternoon after feel slightly better I decided to committed to my hockey team. Sooo with still a dizzy head I played with ISCI against LSPR for Jakarta Hockey League.

Well to be honest I felt am not play very well on that game but lucky our oppo had skill below us. So backed up with my solid team we won 14-0. Yeep. Clean sheet. No goalie. Told ya!

Later on after the game we watched Cinderella the movie and I slept over at Tiff's. And on Sunday morning we had brunch at Brownfox Waffle & Coffee. I really love this place. Because it's very quite in the middle of busy roads. The food also nice. And something nice is whenever we order coffee they also give us a glass of water. Dont you feel like "oh my god! You so understand me!!" Lol.

Because usually I need water everytime I drink coffee :p.

After that me and Tiff spent a whole day at KemVil for shopping and window shopping hehehehe.

Supposed to had weekend getaway turned out be a chill time.

And just because of that I was wonder when I will went to Solo Trip again. Hmmmpp. And where will I go... Hhmmmpppp.

27 minutes left before leaving 26

I had a wonderful year on my 26 years old. 

I met many awesome people lately who keep me inspired.

I visited many wonderful places.

I share many laugh, memories, experiences and knowledge.

I developed my skill.

I was in love in beautiful heart.

Also was broken hearted wisely. Heheheheh.

Was a wonderful year. Am in peak moment. I tho.

Now... Well actually am not really sure what will hapenned next. 

Am in dark. Nothing grey anymore. But completely dark. 

So before leaving my 26 years old. May I skip tomorrow... Please. 

Beach Away

I never ever like wet season. When the roads are sliperry, the city caught in flood, getting wet on motorcycle, arrived at office with cold. 

In the rainy season going to beach is not a good decision. Starting December till March the current and wave are high. The visibility in underwater are totally horrible. Not only comfortable for going to the beach but going to mountain also not a good decision.

Many flights are delay because of bad weather. People got trapped and stuck in heavy rain.

Those are the reasons I never stand with rainy season. The only thing that I love in rainy season the smell of the soil after the rain. Petrichor. 

Best smell ever.

Also after raining is a best time for running :D

Maaaaann I totally miss swimming in the ocean. See the underwater life. Swim with the fishes and the colorful corals. Excited when see the sea turtle. And get stung by the small jellyfish.

Totally cant wait for rainy season is over.  

Hey April, come faster soon and hope the weather already get normal again. 

Somehow I miss Lombok soooo much. :3

xxx

Nite

Photo source: pinterest

#nowplaying

Been crazy with Ed Sheeran songs in his 2nd album X (multiply). And like everyday I heard his songs in  my phone :p.

So far my fave song is Thingking Out Loud. Actually I fall in love firstly in his v-clip. I thought the v-clip totally romantic and sweet. I love the dance. Very very translate the song it self. Never bored watched it.

The dance... oh my.. 

And my other fave v-clip is this one. Ed Sheeran feat John Mayer. OMG! double the heat!

John Mayer look like James Franco lately.

Postingan Lagi Kangen

Biasanya kalo posting jam segini ini kalo dulu itu pas lagi lembur dan males ngerjain kerjaan. Lemburpun karena udah masuk peak season dan lembur supaya dibilang auditor banget. Hahahah

Engga deng. Biasanya lembur karena buat nemenin senior atau manajer karena data baru dikasih setelah jam 5 sore T_T.

Mumpung belom ngantuk dan lagi mau nyampah.. duile.. sekali-kali lah posting yang bener dikit :p

Hahaha iya nih saya lagi kangen. Hmm bukan kangen sama si mantan sih. Tapii samaaa hmmm.. kasih tau gak yah :p ...

Eh tapi btw yah.. bukannya saya mau sok tough atau gimana yah. Tapi saya agak heran aja sama keputusan yang saya ambil kemaren. To be honest sebelumnya sih udah pernah putus sama si doi. Tapi waktu itu asa sediiiihh banget pas abis putus. Nyesel. Dan akhirnya ujung-ujungnya sih balikan.

But this time I feel different. So easy to let him go. Dan yakin banget kalo itu adalah yang terbaik.

So I think every decision that made by positive believe will follow with positive attitude. (naon sih.. asa ga nyambung :| )

Intinya mah ga sesendu dulu lah. 

Tapi pasti ada sih rasa-rasa kangen pengen punya pasangan lagi. Jujur ga boong sih kalo saya suka #sedih kalo liat temen-temen saya posting atau cerita yang unyu - unyu pas tanggal 14 Februari kemarin. Kan akoh mupeng gaaess..

Trus yah si temen saya yang jadi tempat tong sampah sekarang lagi deket sama orang lain.. Dan mendadak saya jadi sebel (baca: ngiri).

Dan lagi si dia yang saya kangenin entah kenapa bikin pengen jadi............... hufftt.

Ya sudahlah.

Mungkin si universe lagi becanda sama sayah. Tapi jangan terlalu jayus yah becandaanya. Kadang saya suka ga mood sama becanda yang agak - agak kinky. 

Nite

xxx

How to Fall in Love Everyday

Just found a very very good post also and inspiring one. About how to keep fall in love with your life in 45 ways.

1. Ask people the real questions. Ask about their passions, fears, hopes and dreams.

2. Introduce yourself. Be brave and vulnerable.

3. Listen to people. I mean really listen to them.

4. Help anyone you can, from strangers to your closest friends. Don't turn away.

5. Get excited. Get excited about everything from your favorite TV show coming on to Lucky Charms being on sale at the grocery store. Rejoice in all of life's little wins, and appreciate them for the ways they make life sweeter.

6. Visit old friends. Don't let your friendships fade. Remember the reasons you are so thankful to have them in your life, and fight for them, like a lover would.

7. Travel to new places. Indulge yourself in the cultures. Experience everything the world has to offer, and don't be fearful or close-minded to the opportunities set before you.

8. Put away your screens when you're with people. If you want to spend time with someone, you should actually be there, physically and mentally.

9. Plan personal time with your friends and family.

10. Hug. Reach out your arms and wrap the people you love in them. Feel them. Embrace the connection that you have, and express that you'll always be there to remind them of it.

11. Indulge your emotions in what you enjoy most. Scream like a crazy person at the basketball game, dance freely at the concert, and run like you never have to stop. Let go. Let yourself be charmed and delighted by your hobbies.

12. Show people your true colors.

13. Don't try to hide who you are from anyone, and let others love you for the good and the bad, the beautiful and the ugly, and the weak and the strong parts of who you are.

14. Express your opinions.

15. Involve your emotions in the priorities and matters of this world. You can't fall in love with this life if you don't care about the people in it.

16. Accept the opinions of others. Ask to hear about those opinions. Respect them. Learn from each other.

17. Wear your heart on your sleeve regardless of how terrifying it can feel to open up.

18. Appreciate the innocence of the world. Play with children and animals as readily as you can.

19. Learn from the beautiful display they have of unprecedented happiness. Fall in love with that, because it's incredible.

20. Look into the eyes of the people you see and speak with. Show them that you are really there.

21. Take chances. Be spontaneous. Embrace the unexpected nature of love.

22. Smile. Even if some don't smile back, others will, and you may find that the smiles shooting back at you steal your heart away.

23. Love your body. Treat it kindly and take care of it. Appreciate it for the unique vessel it is for your soul. Part of continually falling in love is being able to love yourself in your own skin.

24. Sit next to someone instead of alone. Try not to isolate yourself.

25. Be respectful, and expect it from others. Respect is a building block of mutual love.

26. Say "I love you." Say "Thank you." Say "I'm proud of you."

27. Never trade opportunities for real conversation with the people who you love.

28. Exercise integrity with others. The truth is always worth falling for.

29. Say yes.

30. Give people the benefit of the doubt, even if others have let you down.Too often we avoid love because of wrongs committed by people in our pasts. Don't let heartbreak control your ability to see the best in human beings.

31. Play games. Play outside. Have fun and let it consume you.

32. Share meals with friends and family, and also with people capable of becoming your friends and family.

33. Laugh uncontrollably whenever you want to. Laugh as much as possible. It heals the soul and unites you with others in remarkable ways.

34. Sing like a rock star. Let music move you.

35. Surround yourself with people who encourage you and bring out the best in you. The light you will inspire in each other is irreplaceable.

36. Try new foods. Try new wines. Try new flavors of ice cream. Food is a great lover.

37. Go on adventures. Anything from hiking a mountain to raiding the thrift store in the next town over can create the most amazing of discoveries.

38. Feel for others. Emphasize and have compassion. Let yourself be moved by them.

39. Dance uncontrollably. Whether you look like a superstar, or a flailing idiot like myself, let music take control of your body.

40. While you're at it, grab a partner. We should all dance together.

41. Learn everything you can. Absorb information like a sponge. Fall in love with knowledge. Fall in love with stories. Fall in love with history. Fall in love with everything your brain is just waiting to know.

42. Follow your dreams. Go for the job you know will awaken the best parts of who you are.

43. Your passion is a lifelong romance you will always need to strive for. It can be the kind of lover that brings you joy and fulfillment with every passing day.

44. Accept yourself. Be proud. Be confident. Be strong.

45. You can fall in love with yourself every day too. You can look in the mirror and know that in your heart you are radiating love onto this world. You can carry with you the ability to achieve extraordinary greatness. You just have to be open to it, because the choice is yours.

Viva La Vida Everyone :)

Source: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lexi-herrick/45-ways-to-fall-in-love-every-day_b_6650028.html?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000063