8 months already..
You said I should move on from you. Maybe because you already found someone else... So it was easy for you to moved on.
But for me... 4 years to move on.. Totally not easy. I thought it was easy. In fact, is hard to do. Super hard.
What can you do if you already met someone you think can be trusted and sharing the feeling and idea and every moment and then just because I cant see any reason to motivated you to be a better person, I quited.
Hoping that after I quit to pushed you or rushing my idea to have a future with you you will find a way to be better.
Yes at the beginning it was easy. Surrounding my self with my best friends and try to faking out to be happy. And always convince my self that I am OK.
But geez... It only held for a few months. After that.. No lies. I missed you. Missed everything that we ever had. But also at the moment I hate you. Because I felt I waste my time with you. And I was thinking that you never ever care with my future. Mean while am here trying to figure out about yours.
Am I the one who selfish here or who? I only need to be understood.
I've got pressure from family since am the first daughter and I totally frustrated about couple of things. And also I already have a master grand plan about my life. But already ruined. Failed. No wonder I kept feeling devastated lately.
I feel I have no point in life lately. It's so hard and hurt and realize that your life plan is failed. And keep failing.
Sad because age is my boundary here. And the time is ticking.
Tick tock.. Tick tock..
Tell me what to do to get up........
Project Run Away
I wanna run away.
Run away from the heart breaking.
Run away from devastation.
Run away from dissapointment.
Run away from the questions.
Run away from the past.
Run away from fake hope.
Run away from my self.
Oh god... Help me.. Am hopeless.
It would be a pleasure and an ease if there is someone out there said to me..
"Everything is gonna be ok El" and with a hug.
Oh how I need a hug right now.
Huuffttt.
El
xoxo
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